Arkansas State Representative Champions Marriage: Legislative Resolution and Gubernatorial Proclamation Recognize Marriage Week

What Marriage Initiatives Can Learn from Arkansas’ Example

By Amy Morgan

It all started with a chance meeting…. Arkansas State Representative David Ray (representing a suburb of Little Rock) happened to attend a Faith and Family event at a local church as part of his customary efforts to keep his finger on the pulse of his district. Mark Ellis, the church liaison for the Arkansas Marriage Initiative, had set up a table and was raffling off a few door prizes – one of which was Brad Wilcox’s Get Married. The book caught David’s eye, and when he happened to win the drawing, the two connected.

David and Mark, along with Mark’s wife, Michelle, met a few days later for coffee and prize pickup, during conversation, Mark asked David a crucial question:

“What is the state of Arkansas doing to promote marriage?” David confessed he didn’t have a very good answer and found himself at a rare loss for words.

As he believes it is an important component of an elected official’s role to lead on vital issues, David felt compelled to do what he could in the limited amount of time before the legislative session resumed to raise awareness about the importance of marriage.

He decided that at the very least he could put forth a resolution recognizing marriage as important to the people of his state by asking the state to observe Marriage Week during the dates set aside as National Marriage Week, Feb. 7-14.

A house resolution expresses the sense of the governing body on an issue or topic, he explained. They are non-binding but certainly a start that could lead to things that are bigger, better and more transformative, he said. “It gave me the opportunity to stand in front of 99 members and speaks some things about marriage I believe to be true and important to verbalize for our constituents. One thing that struck me is as lawmakers, our job is to make policy. It’s almost always aimed at solving a problem. The common phrase in politics is ‘crisis.’” We have the opioid crisis, the substance abuse crisis, the prison overcrowding crisis, crises in education, in foster care. Virtually every problem would be made better or alleviated if we had stronger families, which start with stronger marriages.

In his speech on the floor, David said the resolution “reminds us that marriage is more than just a single day.” It’s “the foundational relationship” of the family. He referenced academic research (echoing points from Brad’s book) that found a long list of benefits of marriage to individuals and families. He also added he’d “be remiss if I didn’t mention a lot of the problems we struggle to address and spend millions to alleviate would be alleviated by more healthy, vibrant marriages.” He referenced Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ proclamation recognizing Marriage Week, recommended people connect with the Arkansas Marriage Initiative by name, shared the organization’s contact information, and asked other congressional members to post or reference the Marriage Week resolution on their social media to spread the word.

The Governor’s Proclamation included:

“WHEARAS: Marriage is the foundational relationship for all society, and good marriage are the bedrock of strong societies, for they are also the foundations of strong family systems. …

WHEARAS: Strong Marriages act as a force multiplier of community building across our state:

Proclaimed: Marriage Week in Arkansas”

After a voice vote that registered few if any nays, the resolution was adopted. David reported that afterward many people approached him to let him know how much they appreciated his leadership in this area. “Even colleagues from the other side of the political aisle told me they appreciated my doing it,” David reported, which he noted is usually not the case. “They felt it was a very unifying message that everyone could get behind.”

He said the resolution would probably never have happened if he hadn’t met Mark and Michelle.

Tip number one: The event where Rep. Ray and Mark met was sponsored by the American Prosperity Foundation in partnership with the Salem Radion Network through the local news talk/faith radio affiliate.

Does your community have any similar events? Do you know the event planners and programmers at your local station? Are there any connections you can make among those gatekeepers – their station’s audiences are likely to be those interested in advancing marriage and family causes.

David was not the only legislator at that Faith and Family event. Mark made another connection. He was able to obtain the contact information for the Governor’s Faith Office Liaison. The Director of Little Rock’s City Church Network, Ray Williams, had already opened the conversation with her office about a Marriage Week Proclamation when Rep. Ray also requested her support, which pushed the proclamation over the goal line. The City Church Network is the parent organization of the Arkansas Marriage Initiative.

Next steps: results

Arkansas, like Texas, meets in legislative session every two years. Now that the session has closed, David plans to spend time in the interim to explore some substantive ideas from a state policy perspective that will promote marriage as an institution and incentivize it. David serves as Vice Chairman of the Arkansas House Revenue and Tax Committee and plans to review to see if tax laws are penalizing marriage. He’s interested in the Utah Commission on Marriage and how it’s thoroughly and systematically reviewing state laws and policies to promote marriage.

As for Mark and the Arkansas Marriage Initiative, success with the Governor’s office has opened doors, and especially with the Faith Office. The Governor’s husband has done some work with the prisons, and they’ve heard she has eyes set on improving things.

“I don’t think we would have had as clean a connection without David getting the proclamation,” Mark said.

How can other Marriage Initiatives best connect with their representatives?

It’s important to remember to reach out and cultivate a relationship with your representatives before you need them, David advised. “Lawmakers are normal people. We live in your community. He referenced the book Dig your Well Before you are Thirsty, suggesting people start with a phone call to introduce themselves during the quiet time (not when there’s a vote on a high stakes bill the next day). Next, they can ask for a short meeting or coffee to open the door of communication further.

Mark said, “A lot of what I do is ask questions related to the Marriage Initiative agenda and listen. I can help them dig deeper if they are interested. This approach works well because both of us are learning and interested in solving problems. It deepens the relationship, and trust is built. Don’t come in with a full agenda and expect to get anywhere.”

David agreed, adding that Mark was effective in getting the issue of marriage on his radar. As a representative you are “pulled in 100 different directions. One of the challenges is staying focused. The benefit of having a contact like Mark is that he doesn’t have to be focused on 100 different things. He can stay focused on long-term solutions. You have to have people in your orbit like him.” David quoted, “A politician is always thinking about the next election. A statesman is always thinking about the next generation.”

Mark has become a trusted resource for David because the two have built their relationship.

“You’re not going to go in and put an agenda forward and see action overnight,” he cautioned. “The problems didn’t happen overnight, and they won’t be solved overnight.”

Tip number two – With whom do you need to start building a relationship? Call the office to introduce yourself and see where the conversation takes you. Ask questions, be curious, and start getting to know each other before you present an agenda.